Caring for a grave is a meaningful way to honour the memory of a loved one and maintain a respectful space for remembrance. This guide will take you through practical steps to care for a grave, from cleaning headstones to tending the surrounding area, along with advice for long-term maintenance and more.

Check Cemetery guidelines first...

Before beginning any care, contact the cemetery or check posted guidelines to understand their rules for grave upkeep. Some cemeteries have specific regulations about the types of cleaning allowed, types of decorations, and even the kinds of plants you can place. Respecting these rules ensures the grave remains in harmony with the rest of the grounds and prevents potential fines or removal of items.

Gather Appropriate Cleaning Supplies:

It’s important to use gentle, appropriate tools to avoid damaging the headstone, especially if it’s older or made from softer materials. Here’s a list of basic supplies you may need:

• Soft-bristle brush (avoid wire or hard-bristle brushes)
• Non-ionic soap (i.e biodegradable soap)
• Water (preferably, distilled to avoid mineral buildup)
• Soft cloths or sponges
• Plastic scraper (for removing any bird droppings or sap)
• Spray bottle (for misting water on the headstone)

Tip: Avoid using harsh chemicals or pressure washers, as they can erode or damage the stone over time.

Cleaning the Headstone:

1. Wet the Stone: Begin by wetting the entire headstone with water to help loosen dirt and prevent the stone from absorbing too much cleaner.
2. Apply Soap: Use a small amount of soap diluted in water and apply it gently with a soft cloth or brush.
3. Scrub Gently: Work in circular motions with a soft-bristle brush, focusing on areas with dirt or growth. Avoid scrubbing too hard, particularly on stones made from sandstone, limestone, or marble, which are more fragile - Be sure to ask your cemetery if you're unsure on the graves material.
4. Rinse Thoroughly: Rinse off all the soap with clean water to prevent residue buildup.
5. Dry Carefully: Pat the stone dry with a soft cloth if possible, especially if the weather is humid, as prolonged moisture can encourage moss or algae growth.

Tip: Clean the headstone once or twice a year, as over-cleaning can wear down the material!

Remove any unwanted growth:

Gravesites often attract moss, algae, and lichen, which can degrade the stone over time. Here’s how to carefully remove these growths:

• Use a plastic scraper to gently remove larger patches of moss or lichen.
• Use a soft brush and water to scrub away any remaining growth.
• For tougher stains or persistent growth, apply a small amount of non-ionic cleaner and let it sit briefly before rinsing.
• Avoid using things like bleach, as this can damage the stone.

Clear and maintain the surrounding area:

Keeping the area around the grave neat and tidy is also a significant part of grave care. Here are some simple ways to maintain it:

Remove weeds and overgrowth: Pull up any weeds, dead leaves, or other debris around the grave to keep it looking tidy and prevent unwanted plants from taking root.

Trim grass: Use hand clippers or a trimmer to keep grass trimmed without damaging the headstone or marker.

Fresh flowers: Many people like to add fresh or artificial flowers. If you choose artificial arrangements, ensure they’re secured against wind and weather. In fact, planting flowers around a grave can add a personal touch and offer a quiet way to honour your loved one. Choose hardy, low-maintenance plants like lavender, or daisies which require minimal watering and can withstand changing weather.

If the cemetery permits, we'd recommend you choose plants that will return each year. Keep in mind that any plants should not interfere with the gravesite next to it or grow over the headstone, and should be planted with care. Again, be sure to check your cemetery guidelines.

Leaving personal tokens and decorations.

Small tokens like pebbles, photographs, or meaningful trinkets can be a lovely way to commemorate a loved one. However, avoid placing items that may blow away, become weather-damaged, or cause litter.

This includes...

• Small rocks or pebbles to symbolise respect and remembrance
• Durable mementoes that are weather-resistant, like a metal or stone plaque
• Personalised wreaths or seasonal flowers

Visit regularly for Long-term upkeep.

Regular visits allow you to maintain the grave’s appearance and keep any dirt, growth, or debris from accumulating. Even a simple visit to clean, refresh flowers, or tidy the surrounding area can make a lasting difference. Some families or friends of the deceased choose to visit seasonally, while others may come monthly or on special occasions.

When to seek professional help

If the headstone is in poor condition, such as cracked or severely weathered, consider contacting a professional conservator. Experienced restorers know how to repair or clean headstones safely, ensuring that any historical or sentimental value is preserved.

Final thoughts

Grave care is a meaningful way to show respect and keep the memory of a loved one alive. By regularly tending to the headstone and surrounding area, you can create a peaceful, dignified space for remembrance. Following these steps can also help protect the grave from damage, so it remains a beautiful.